Late Night Turmoil Thoughts

I know this shouldn't be a big issue and I've been told countless of times to let it go and put it in the past. It's easier said than done. I know what happened should really be put behind me, but I guess I've turn quite sensitive. I just find myself a little stunned and hurt at what simple words can do. I feel powerless because I can do something about it, but I chose not to. Why? Because I feel it's not worth the effort to go to an extent of "trying" to patch misunderstandings. As much as I want to give reasons, I just know it will be futile in the end. My words won't be heard or taken seriously. I'll probably end up being judged again. Negatively. Although it does feel like I'm cowering because I can't face you, I'm tired of potential arguments and pointless bitter words throwing back and forth. I'll save myself the trouble. I'm not stupid and as a female, I know how the game works. Of course this section will be share and what I said will be used against me in some ways. But that's okay, whatever the consequences is...I'll be sure to have a backbone. Of course without a doubt I know I am being displayed as a bad person for what I have done. I will never think it's wrong to finally find someone that likes you for who you are. You tell me to follow what is right in my heart and I took it. I failed to realize that you were testing my loyalty. Even so, things wouldn't be the same anyways. I follow what was right for me and for once in my life I got something amazing out of it. I was selfish to think I can keep both. You really opened my eyes and I started to see the things in a different way. I ended up learning about myself and did a whole self reflection. Sounds a little gay and cheesy, but it's true. I apologized to friends who I hurt the most. Especially to friends of who were once close. I did hate myself and I know things will not be the same as it was before. I'm more apologetic and sincere. (At least that is what I keep telling myself) I know when I'm in the wrong and of course I'll apologize. But I'm sure my apology means nothing to you. I can't talk to you or face you. I don't think I will even if I have the opportunity. As much as I gave myself a little hope that we could be friends again, I'll stop being so optimistic about it. You and I both know we're best off as strangers. You were a good friend and the friendship we had was a good one. I didn't know there was such a thing as an "option". Plus, I knew you were going say no even though it was worth a shot.  I'm not going to say things about you here. It's only fair for people to judge base on their own, not on other people's mouth. I know you're not stupid either because it's already obvious enough as it is. :/  With this being said and done, I have no regrets. Sometimes I feel that it's me against everything. Yet...I have to stop thinking about the bad because I'm letting this take over me and I can't let that. I'm happy and I hope you're happy as well. I guess it's better this way. I'm definitely going to take the advice from someone dear to me and finally put this behind me. And I'm not going to look back. 

Batman and Robin Cupcakes

It has been a while since I last post and I sort of feel guilty that I'm beginning to neglect it. Yes, I am ze master of procrastination, but I honestly couldn't come up with anything to write about. I thought about writing some personal inner thoughts and my one piece obsession at one point....eh I'll just leave it for next time. :)

To sum up February I have made two delicious treats. On Valentine's Day I made heart shape cream cheese cookies. It was really simple to make but somehow I was being a noob and accidentally got red food coloring on my hand and it stained the whole day haha. The sticky dough made it difficult to roll out and I used a lot of flour. So much that my whole counter was covered with flour. If my mom saw this mess, I know she will not hesitate to kick my ass. Mother shows no mercy.

I ended up making these cookies big because I was running out of time to bake them. To be honest, this is my first time celebrating Valentine's Day. I really don't see why this holiday is a big deal. Don't we all express the feeling of love everyday? It makes sense how commercialized this holiday is considering roses and chocolates are ridiculously expensive. $5 for a single rose, what the hell? I remember back when I used to work at BCBG, I felt so damn sorry for the guys who willingly dropped couple of hundreds on their girlfriend. Sure it helped me maintained my SPH, but wow... to take her shopping as a way of saying "I love you" isn't really romantic at all.

Because he knew that this is my first Valentine's Day, he put in an effort to make it special for me. He gave me a collage photo frame of us and a really pretty white lacey 3/4 sleeve dress from H&M. I tried to refuse the second gift but ended up accepting it because he said its either I take it or face my doom. :'( He took me to Horizon at Burnaby Mountain and I loved it.To end the night, I brought giant sparklers I found at home. :) I have to say this is the best Valentine's day ever teehee.

Pink Hearts!

My friends and I made strawberry shortcake and it was amaaaaazing. April and I were so glad that we made them because they tasted so damn good. April thought she doesn't own a pastry blender so we use two forks to incorporate the butter and flour together. We didn't know how to use this method until her mom showed up and did it for us haha. So noob.

I made this again at Kyle's because he needs to know how good it is and I wasn't able to give him any from the first time I made it. It was kind of difficult when I made at his house....the batch was too sticky and I keep on adding more flours even though I'm not suppose to. -.- Oh well, still taste the same LOL. I had a lot of fun making the whipping cream haha it was entertaining to see the thick liquid cream transform.

Kyle made a snowman using the scone batter, strawberries, and toothpick. Artistic indeed :)

Sooooo good and super easy to make :))))

I always wanted to make fondant cupcakes. I keep seeing all the pretty pictures of people making super cool design out of fondant. I couldn't help but was determined to make my own. I was looking at the recipe for it and watched a couple of Youtube video. Since the main recipe for fondant were marshmallows, shit is about to get serious. Uhhhh........and it's gonna be disasterous...I know it.

Quickly made chocolate cupcakes, but I forgot to leave the butter in room temperature. Nice going, Amy. There was absolutely no time to remake it because I didn't make the fondant the night before. All of my baking materials and ingredients were at my parent's place and I woke up late. I only gave myself 6 hours to make it. Time crunch to the max! After they were done baking and I set them to cool off, it was time to make the hardest part. Fondant...

The recipe said to microwave it for 1-2 minutes. I end up microwaving it for 2 minutes and the moment I opened it... I was in for a big surprise. The marshmallow exploded and oozed over the bowl and on the plate. I panicked, oh hell yeah I did. It was so sticky and messy that I attempted to save it for the sake of not wasting food. The food coloring I have was super cheap liquid food coloring from Superstore. It didn't work out because it wasn't really mixing well with the attempted sticky dough-ish batter so I had to throw it all away. :'( I was so upset when it wasn't working out.

Hahahahahahahahahahaha...no, it was not fun cleaning this up.

I was so close to give up and make regular chocolate whipping cream, but I've been planning to do this for over a week. I will complete this mission even if it cost me an arm and leg. Making this fondant will happen. Using half of the marshmellow I had left, I microwave that shit for 30 seconds three times. (I learned my lesson and the marshmallow didn't erupt this time ah hah!) I used shortening and cover the bowl to pretend sticking. Genius idea!

The messiest part was when I added the four cups of icing sugar. This is the "making the fondant into a dough-like texture" happens. In order to make it happen, you have to be extremely patient and calm. I swear to god this is the part where you can give up because the batter was super sticky. I add a lot of icing sugar and used my hand to mix them together. Lets just say half of my kitchen was covered in icing sugar haha.

This time I used concentrated food coloring gel for the fondant and making the black dough took a lot of kneading. Also, do not add more icing sugar when the dough become sticky or else it will harden and dry over time. Use SHORTENING whenever you feel the dough becomes a bit stiff or a little dry. I had a lot of fun cutting up the design and adding the colors. Yes, there were different food coloring dye on my hands, but I was able to wash them off. No stain this time yay!

This took 3-4 hours to complete my fondant cupcakes.

TADA! BATMAN AND ROBIN CUPCAKES! All the hard work paid off because they look pretty damn awesome to me. I made an extra cupcake for myself just to make sure they are edible and I know I won't poison anyone.

Batman is for Kyle and Robin is for his friend, Raymond. I thought it was a cool idea since it was Raymond's birthday and I knew Kyle couldn't finish all 8 cupcakes by himself. I promise him I'll be more health conscious when making him food haha.

Woohoo! Mission accomplished! I feel like I went up a level on my baking skills. Feel so proud of myself! Next time I'll challenge myself to make an even better one.

-Amu

Sprinkling Hearts

Time for another baking session! Nothing special this time, just a quick and easy bake brownie cake. The whole process to make this was really interesting.

The trip to T&T Supermarket was extremely bizzare. The cashier was this lady who took her sweet time during rush hour. My sister and I swore that she was sort of dancing and humming to herself while putting our groceries in the bag. Is she on something? I will never know.

The trip back home aggrivated me. Not only did it started to rain but this driver in front of me is an idiot. Right when we're near the stop sign, this jewbag driver suddenly stopped and put the hazard lights on. What the hell?! Don't put your hazard lights randomly when there's a car behind you. Maneuvering my way around the car, I told my sister to roll down the window and finger that person. (She didn't do it by the way, although I wish she did.) Found out it was this middle-age woman who was in fact parallel parking. You do not fucking put your hazard lights on when you're about to parallel park, you retarded old hag. There's something called using your right hand signal ahead of time so I know you're going to park. *rage*

Here's what I made for my boy and his good friend who took their time to bring all the alcohols, setting up the party, and coming back at 4 am from McDonalds to clean up the mess. I cannot express how thankful I am! Thank you!

Made this for my sister who clearly expressed she wanted her own. Cupcake version it is!

There was a minor accident in the kitchen. The cake pan I used for the brownie started to drip at the bottom of the pan (the bottom is detachable) and I immediately had to put a cookie sheet under it to stop it. The kitchen started to smoke up because the extra dripping brownie was stuck on the bottom of the oven and started to burn. Adventurous time indeed. We opened the door and used newspaper to "fan" out the smoke. ULTRA FAIL LOOL

The finishing work! Spreading the chocolate whip cream and sprinkling the edible hearts was probably the funnest part. Nothing bad happened thank god. I know I can do crazier decoration than this, but I just want to keep it simple this time.

Yes little sister, pose that brownie cupcake...

Cheers

-Amu

7 Favorite Beauty Products of 2011

I just realized that half of 2011 I didn't wear much make up. I think that's because there was no one to impress whenever I go out with my friends (haha). I don't really dress up and I hardly wore any of my heels, which really is a waste of money. 

Pretty much I don't really care how grubby I look like when I'm at school or grocery shopping at Superstore. If you ever bump into me in Superstore, you'll most likely see my hair in a crazy knot bun, baggy sweatpants, zip-up hoodie, and a pair of outdated boots. Yeah, I know right, straight up disgusting rofl.

Nonetheless, I'm still a girl....even though I don't act like one sometimes. I don't have perfect skin and my make up skills is still in amateur level. Anyways, enough jibber jabber of semi-complaints of my girl-less behaviors, here are seven of the beauty products that I absolutely adore in 2011 and still continue to use them today.

La Priarie CELLULAR RESURFACING CREAM $180

Yes, I know the price is absolutely re-donku-lous but it's worth it. Seriously. Buy this if you're willing to splurge that much on skincare. I would spend more on skincare than make up any day. This night cream minimize your pores, tones out your skin, get rid of the redness, reduce wrinkles, and gives a velvet smooth complexion. All in one!!!! The key is to use a small amount because everyone knows too much can actually make you break out. This also applies with any other skincare or make up products. 

Laura Mercier MINERAL POWDER SPF 15 $35 

I know many people complained that mineral powders are messy to deal with because the powder falls everywhere. As long as you slowly tap the excess powder on the lid then it's not so bad. I'm not really fond of liquid foundation because it feels too heavy on my face and it eats up time to apply it on. Also, I only use pressed powder to touch up whenever I go out. This powder gives off a nice flawless finish and doesn't ruin my skin. Yeyeyeye. 

Spa Ritual Nail Polish $13

This only cost a couple dollars more than OPI but holy jesus does it make OPI looks like it's straight up cheap quality. This is a vegan nail polish brand that includes organic plants essences and naturally colored formulation free of synthetic dyes. How awesome is that? It gives off an intense glossy finish and it is indeed long lasting. I know chipping is inevitable for all nail polish, but this brand shows minimal chipping and last for over two weeks. 

Clean & Clear Advantage 3-in-1 Exfoliating Cleanser $15

I admit that I'm probably one of the laziest person when it comes to cleansing my skin. After a long day at school or work or going out, you'll probably just want to head to bed as soon as possible. I just can't spend the extra time to take care of my skin so I opt for an easy way out. Also, I realized a while ago it's not worth to spend a lot on cleansers. Cheap cleansing products for the win. So far I hardly ever break out when I use this brand. 

Chanel LE SOURCIL DE CHANEL PERFECT BROWS $65

Do you have the hardest time finding the perfect product for your brows? I certainly did until I stumble upon this. What I like about it is that it doesn't make my brows stick out like a sore thumb. It doesn't make my brows look cartoon-ish and it's long lasting. Really pricey but I don't think I can find another that can top this. 

CHI OIL SILK INFUSION $20 (roughly)

I can't live without this. This baby saves my hair from becoming a disastrous hot mess. I don't know what I'll be if I didn't have this around in my bathroom. I'm so happy that you're in my life. :')

MAC FLUIDLINE $15

It doesn't have to be MAC. It could be from Bobby Brown or any other drugstore products. I'm just saying that gel liner is probably my favorite eye product next to pencils. I only use pencils for my lower lids and my lash lines. What I like about this is that it doesn't smudge and its not too harsh on my eyes. I have uneven eyelids and it annoys the hell out of me. :( 

I think listing seven is good enough for now. I have many other great beauty products I want to share, but I'll hold it off for next time. 

Be safe, take care, and have fun. 

Cheers,

Amu